{"product_id":"how-i-lost-myself-9798233684180","title":"How I Lost Myself","description":"\u003cp\u003e • Author(s): Mary Ganann\u003cbr\u003e • Publisher: Mary Ganann\u003cbr\u003e • Publisher Imprint: Mary Ganann\u003cbr\u003e • BISAC: Personal Memoirs\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was a girl from the Mississippi pines who loved the pond and the smell of cedar. My descent began in 2009 when I used Adderall to chase intensity and fill the silence left after my friends went to college. I entered a relationship that felt like clarity but was actually total control.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI lost my autonomy, eventually bowing to a man who dictated my every move and thought. To survive, I developed a detached, calculated mindset I named \"Lucifer\". This internal voice became my co-pilot, numbing my emotions until I could sit in a room and feel nothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy choices led me to prison, but even the locked doors didn't immediately wake me up; I simply planned to be \"smarter\" about my mindset. The true breaking point came when I realized my daughter was absorbing my fear and learning to be small to keep the peace. For her sake, I left and moved back to my mother's house.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am now reclaiming the \"girl from the pond,\" drawing on the legacy of my best friend Kayla and my Papaw's unconditional strength. I am not what happened to me; I am the person who chose to find her way back.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mary Ganann","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":47969508360343,"sku":"9798233684180","price":744.0,"currency_code":"INR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0666\/3471\/1191\/files\/9798233684180.webp?v=1782922128","url":"https:\/\/atlanticbooks.com\/products\/how-i-lost-myself-9798233684180","provider":"Atlantic Books","version":"1.0","type":"link"}