His MLC My PTSD: The mid-life crisis that seemed to never end...
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This book is an account of multiple betrayals caused by a man I did not know even though we had been married for almost 3 decades. A husband experiencing a midlife crisis unsettled this 30-year marriage, leaving the relationship in a state of functional despair-still alive, but barely holding on. I lived with the na�ve certainty that he would never cheat on me. I watched him bad good and evil in his mind. The mood swings, I love you, I hate you, we have a future, I want a divorce, etc. I never knew what I would wake up to each day.
I have never experienced pain like what followed. The only losses I can imagine that might compare are the death of one of my children-or the loss of this man I fought so hard to save. The words he spoke and the choices he made while we were walking through our darkest season felt cruel beyond explanation, as though they came from something evil. No one who truly loved me could speak to me that way. No one who truly loved me could keep hurting me-again and again. Right?
Before you judge, I ask you to pause. You never truly know what you will do until it happens to you. I will never again say to anyone, "If I were you." I endured things I never believed I would-or could. This all is happening to at the lowest point in my life. Two major blows the loss of my father and the betrayal by the only other man I trusted with my entire life. I had never struggled with mental health until that time. Suddenly, I was scared all the time, I could not be alone, I feared being abandoned. Every argument or disagreement had me falling apart and begging him not to leave. I pulled away from other family and friends. I lost friends because I just couldn't trust any other woman. I didn't want any women around him because I was scared he would think they were more appealing than me. It was the most horrible time of my life.
My only explanation that I am still standing, it is because of God, and God alone. Some called me a fool. Others thought I was the strongest woman alive. Neither was entirely right, and neither was entirely wrong. This is my story.
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