Fearful Avoidant: A Field Guide to Disorganized Attachment - How to End the Push-Pull, Calm the Fear of Closeness, and Finally Feel Safe in Love

Name: Fearful Avoidant: A Field Guide to Disorganized Attachment - How to End the Push-Pull, Calm the Fear of Closeness, and Finally Feel Safe in Love
Brand: Independently Published
SKU: 9798180091512
Price: 1357.0 INR
Availability: InStock

by Robert Smith

Save 12%

₹1,357.00

₹1,549.00

(-12%)

₹1,357.00

Imported Edition - Ships in 18-21 Days

Free Shipping in India on orders above Rs. 500

Request Bulk Quantity Quote

Name

Quantity

+91

Company Name

Message

Quantity

More Information

ISBN13: 9798180091512
Binding: Paperback
Subject: N/A
Publisher: Independently Published
Publisher Imprint: Independently Published
Publication Date: June 5, 2026
Pages: 206
Original Price: GBP 11.91
Language: English
Edition: N/A
Item Weight: 254 grams
BISAC Subject(s): Friendship

About The Book

You want them. Then, the moment it gets real, you go cold and need to run.

You pull someone close and then push them away - sometimes in the same week, sometimes within the same hour. You crave closeness and you are terrified of it, both at once. You have stood in doorways you could neither walk through nor close. If you have lived this exhausting internal civil war, you are not broken, and you are not alone. You are fearful-avoidant.

Fearful-avoidant attachment - also called disorganized or anxious-avoidant attachment - is the most painful of the insecure styles, because it is not one strategy but two contradictory ones firing at the same time: the anxious longing to be held, and the avoidant certainty that being held is dangerous. It forms in childhood, when the person you needed for comfort was also, at least sometimes, a source of fear. The solution that kept you safe then is the thing breaking your relationships now.

This is the field guide. In fifteen chapters and fifteen practices, Robert Smith maps the pattern with unusual precision and warmth - and then gives you the slow, specific work of teaching a nervous system that braced for danger inside closeness that closeness, this time, is survivable.

Inside, you will learn how to:

Recognize the two alarms - the pull and the push - and exactly what trips each one
Trace where the fear was installed, without blame, and loosen its grip on the present
Calm the sudden cold - the deactivation reflex that kills feeling the instant love gets safe
Stop sabotaging relationships at the threshold of real intimacy
Quiet the shame spiral that follows every time you push someone away
Learn to stay - tolerate closeness without fleeing - one graded step at a time
Tell the truth about your push-pull, choose partners who can actually stay, and repair after a rupture
Become your own secure base, so the door is finally one you open and close on purpose

Grounded in attachment science and the biology of the nervous system - Bowlby and Ainsworth, Main and Hesse, Porges, van der Kolk, Levine, Sue Johnson - and built for the long work of earned security. Because the research is clear: a person who did not receive secure attachment in childhood can build it as an adult. Even from the most disorganized start.

If you have spent years lonely inside reach of love, start here.

Trusted for over 49 years

Family Owned Company

Secure Payment

All Major Credit Cards/Debit Cards/UPI & More Accepted

New & Authentic Products

India's Largest Distributor

Need Support?

Whatsapp Us

Related Category

family & relationships > friendship

Bestselling

View All

Atomic Habits (Lead Title)

Clear, James

₹650

₹999

(-35%)

₹650

• Author(s): Clear | James • Publisher: Penguin • Publisher Imprint: Penguin Random House • Subject: General Books

Ikigai

Hector Garcia

₹390

₹599

(-35%)

₹390

• Author(s): Hector Garcia • Publisher: Penguin • Publisher Imprint: Penguin Random House • Subject: General Books

The Courage To Be Disliked How To Free Yourself Change Your Life And Achieve Real Happiness Courage To Series

Ichiro Kishimi

₹358

₹550

(-35%)

₹358

• Author(s): Ichiro Kishimi • Publisher: GROVE ATLANTIC • Publisher Imprint: Allen & Unwin • BISAC: Personal Growth - SuccessIchiro Kishimi lives in Kyoto. He writes, lectures and teaches in psychiatric clinics as a certified counsellor and c...

View full details

12 Years: My Messed-up Love Story

Chetan Bhagat

₹260

₹399

(-35%)

₹260

• Author(s): Chetan Bhagat • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers India • Publisher Imprint: HarperCollins Publishers India • BISAC: GeneralFrom India's top-selling writer Chetan Bhagat comes a powerful new love story that will make you laugh, cry...

View full details

The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery

Brianna Wiest

₹260

₹399

(-35%)

₹260

• Author(s): Brianna Wiest • Publisher: Manjul Publishing • Publisher Imprint: Amaryllis • BISAC: Body Mind And SpiritThis is a book about self-sabotage. Why we do it, when we do it, and how to stop doing it—for good. Coexisting but conflicting n...

View full details

The Art of Spending Money: Simple Choices for a Richer Life

Morgan Housel

₹290

₹499

(-42%)

₹290

• Author(s): Morgan Housel • Publisher: Pan Macmillan • Publisher Imprint: Pan Macmillan • BISAC: Finance - Wealth ManagementA third book from the International bestselling author of The Psychology of Money and Same as Ever, lessons on harnessing...

View full details

Mother Mary Comes To Me

Arundhati Roy

₹585

₹899

(-35%)

₹585

• Author(s): Arundhati Roy• Publisher: PRH INDIA LOCAL PRINT• Publisher Imprint: Penguin Hamish Hamilton• BISAC: Literary FiguresArundhati Roy’s first work of memoir, this is a soaring account, both intimate and inspiring, of how the author became...

View full details

Truth without Apology: A Guide for Those Who Can Stand It

Acharya Prashant

₹260

₹399

(-35%)

₹260

• Author(s): Acharya Prashant • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers India • Publisher Imprint: HarperCollins Publishers India • BISAC: GeneralIn a world where vagueness is mistaken for depth and obscurity passes for wisdom, Truth without Apology ...

View full details

Grandma's Bag of Stories

Sudha Murthy

₹179

₹275

(-35%)

₹179

• Author(s): Sudha Murthy • Publisher: India Puffin • Publisher Imprint: India Puffin • BISAC: Short StoriesWho can resist a good story, especially when it's being told by Grandma? From her bag emerges tales of kings and cheats, monkeys and mic...

View full details

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop

Satoshi Yagisawa

₹260

₹399

(-35%)

₹260

• Author(s): Satoshi Yagisawa • Publisher: Bonnier Books Ltd • Publisher Imprint: Bonnier Books Ltd

Deep Work: Rules For Focused Success In A Distracted World

Newport, Cal

₹260

₹399

(-35%)

₹260

• Author(s): Newport, Cal • Publisher: Little, Brown Book Group • Publisher Imprint: Piatkus

Can We Be Strangers Again?: A National Bestseller

Shrijeet Shandilya

₹195

₹299

(-35%)

₹195

• Author(s): Shrijeet Shandilya • Publisher: Ebury Press • Publisher Imprint: Ebury Press • BISAC: Romance - GeneralIn the electric haze of college life, three friends are bound by laughter, late-night talks and unspoken promises. But when two of...

View full details

The Secret of Secrets: (Robert Langdon Book 6)

Dan Brown

₹975

₹1,499

(-35%)

₹975

• Author(s): Dan Brown • Publisher: Transworld Publishers Ltd • Publisher Imprint: Transworld Publishers Ltd • BISAC: Thrillers - EspionageDan Brown is the bestselling author of Digital Fortress, Deception Point, Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci C...

View full details

Magic of the Lost Temple

Sudha Murty

₹179

₹275

(-35%)

₹179

• Author(s): Sudha Murty • Publisher: India Puffin • Publisher Imprint: India Puffin • BISAC: Action & Adventure - General

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids about Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!

₹390

₹599

(-35%)

₹390

• Publisher: Penguin • Publisher Imprint: Penguin Random House • Subject: General Books • BISAC: Personal Finance - GeneralApril of 2022 marks a 25-year milestone for the personal finance classic Rich Dad Poor Dad that still ranks as the #1 Pers...

View full details

World’S Greatest Books For Personal Growth & Wealth (Set Of 4 Books) : Perfect Motivational

Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill

₹455

₹699

(-35%)

₹455

• Author(s): Dale Carnegie | Napoleon Hill • Publisher: Fingerprint • Publisher Imprint: Fingerprint • Subject: General Books

The Housemaid: An Addictive Psychological Thriller With Mind-Bending Twists

Freida Mcfadden

₹358

₹550

(-35%)

₹358

• Author(s): Freida Mcfadden • Publisher: Penguin Select Print • Publisher Imprint: Penguin Select Publishing"Multi-Million Copy Bestselling Series •Now Being Made Into a Major Motion Picture Starring Sydney Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried #1 New Yor...

View full details

101 Tales: The Great Panchatantra Collection

Wonder House Books

₹390

₹599

(-35%)

₹390

• Author(s): Wonder House Books • Publisher: Wonder House Books • Publisher Imprint: Wonder House Books • BISAC: Comics & Graphic Novels - Fairy Tales, Folklore, Legends & MTimeless Wisdom, Talking Animals & Life Lessons for Young Min...

View full details

Man's Search For Meaning

Viktor E. Frankl

₹260

₹399

(-35%)

₹260

• Author(s): Viktor E. Frankl • Publisher: Random House • Publisher Imprint: Random Hou • Subject: Medical, Nursing and Health Sciences

Bacchon KI Doctor's Desi Parenting Book: A Doctor-Mom's Guide to Milk, Myths, Motherhood and More

Madhavi Bharadwaj

₹260

₹399

(-35%)

₹260

• Author(s): Madhavi Bharadwaj • Publisher: PRH India • Publisher Imprint: Penguin Ebury Press • BISAC: Parenting - MotherhoodWelcome to the wild, messy, wonderful world of parenting--where the nights are long, the diapers are explosive, and unso...

View full details

The Outsider

Vir Das

₹455

₹699

(-35%)

₹455

• Author(s): Vir Das • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers India • Publisher Imprint: HarperCollins Publishers India • BISAC: Entertainment & Performing ArtsComedian and actor Vir Das is beloved (by some, tolerated by others, blocked by a few...

View full details

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Eric Carle

₹293

₹450

(-35%)

₹293

• Author(s): Eric Carle • Publisher: Penguin Books, Limited (UK) • Publisher Imprint: Penguin Books, Limited (UK) • BISAC: Animals - Butterflies, Moths & CaterpillarsEric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar is a perennial favourite with child...

View full details

Too Good to Be True : A smart, funny will-they-won’t-they romance by mostlysane

Prajakta Koli

₹260

₹399

(-35%)

₹260

• Author(s): Prajakta Koli • Publisher: Harper Fiction India • Publisher Imprint: Harper Fiction India • BISAC: Romance - ContemporaryWinner of the Amazon India Popular Choice Debut Book 2025 Award. From one of India's most-loved creators comes s...

View full details

Tuesdays With Morrie (Export) (A Format)

Albom, Mitch

₹195

₹299

(-35%)

₹195

• Author(s): Albom, Mitch • Publisher: Little, Brown Book Group • Publisher Imprint: Sphere* Subtitled 'An old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson', this is a true story of a man's rediscovery of his mentor - a book about second chances.

Fearful Avoidant: A Field Guide to Disorganized Attachment - How to End the Push-Pull, Calm the Fear of Closeness, and Finally Feel Safe in Love

Related Category

Bestselling

Country

Country