Fostering isn't easy, but it doesn't have to feel impossible.
If you've ever asked yourself, "Why is this child acting like this?" or "Am I even helping?" then this book is for you.
Fostering Connection is a practical, compassionate guide for foster parents who want to do more than survive. It's for those who are ready to lead with their heart, mentor kids through trauma, and create a safe space where healing can begin.
Written by a trauma coach who experienced the foster system firsthand, this book offers more than theory. It delivers tools, stories, and strategies you can use right away.
In this book, you'll learn how to:
- Understand "difficult" behaviors like lying, food hoarding, and meltdowns by seeing them through the lens of survival
- Build trust using trauma-informed responses that calm the brain and open the door to connection
- Set boundaries that create safety without using fear or control
- Stay regulated and avoid burnout using tools like Q-TIP (Quit Taking It Personal) and go-zone strategies
- Shift from managing behavior to mentoring growth
You'll also get:
- Real-life examples from families and children
- Clear, science-backed explanations in plain language
- Actionable tools and scripts to use during tough moments
- Exercises to support both your child's healing and your own emotional well-being
Whether you're just beginning your fostering journey or have years of experience, this book offers support, clarity, and hope.
You don't need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up and love them anyway.
Grijalva, Frank: - Frank Grijalva is the Director of Midwest Trauma Services Network and the Senior Vice President of Programming for The International Trauma Center. He works with various state and local agencies across the country ranging from tribal child welfare, disability services culture change, juvenile justice facility consultation, and school districts. Frank works at the regional and local systems level, as well as individual caseconsultations for agencies.Frank came through the California system as a child, adopted into a family challenged by mental health and substance abuse issues. Raised in the East Bay Area of Northern California, Frank attended nine different schools in his first nine years. Growing up in a difficult home in a challenging environment both geographically and historically, Frank has a unique perspective that translates for many of our most traumatized communities, families, and children. Frank found his way into the military. His first professionaltraining was as a special warfare diver attached to the United States Navy's Marine Mammal Program. He spent eight years honing behavior modification skills, stress management, and understanding the dynamics of nonverbal communication.Later, as a stay-at-home dad for two kids and a student of psychology, he became aware of and struggled with development, his own trauma exposure, and behavioral progressions and sequencing. At 40, Frank was diagnosed with childhood PTSD. This led to a journey of self-exploration and an academic focus on psychological trauma.Frank has worked with the International Trauma Center since 1999 and deployed to Ground Zero to manage a team of clinicians working with a federal agency in "the dig" to support them ongoing as they did their difficult work. Frank also worked extensively throughout Louisiana and Mississippi in the aftermath of Katrina. Additionally, Frank has worked abroad in Israel, Gaza and the West Bank, Nepal, Jordan, Haiti, and several other countries for agencies like Save the Children, USAID, the World Bank, and the International Center for the Protection of Victims of Torture, developing interventions and trained by a variety of world class clinicians working with children.As Director of the Midwest Trauma Services Network and Senior Vice President of Programming for the International Trauma Center, he has spent the last several years introducing and training selected trauma informed evidence-based practices, as well as designing and implementing innovations specific to people from at-risk environments through the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention in the US federal government. Frank has a BS in Disaster Psychology with an emphasis on mental health, an MS in Public Health with a focus on child mental health, and an MS in Clinical Counseling with trauma theory as the primary theoretical framework. Frank is the proud father of two gifted and resilient children who contribute in significant ways in their chosen professions. His mission is to create a world that understands the impact of trauma and abuse on children, families, communities, and culture by teaching, challenging, and learning everywhere he goes.
