You're not as rational as you think. Especially about love.
Science has spent the last fifty years studying human attraction with the same rigor it applies to physics and medicine. The findings are unsettling, fascinating, and occasionally hilarious.
We fall for people who look like us. We find strangers more attractive when we're afraid. We're drawn to genetic opposites we can literally smell. We stay in relationships that aren't working because leaving feels like losing an investment. We swipe right on Tinder for reasons that have nothing to do with what we consciously want.
Ancient Instincts, Modern Hearts maps the full terrain - from the first glance to the long-term couple, from seduction to separation, from biology to Tinder - using real research to explain what's actually driving human desire.
What's inside:
The psychology of attraction - why proximity, similarity, scarcity, and a dozen other invisible forces determine who we find attractive before we've exchanged a single word
The biology of desire - what happens in your body during attraction, why symmetry matters, why smell is the most underrated factor in chemistry, and why love genuinely resembles addiction
The psychology of seduction - what nonverbal communication actually signals, what the research says about humor, empathy, and flattery, and why the questionnaire that makes strangers fall in love actually works
Men, women, and desire - what the data really shows about gender differences in sex, infidelity, jealousy, and attraction - without the ideology
Manipulation and seduction - how tactics like the neg, social proof, and emotional anchoring work psychologically, and why knowing this doesn't make you immune
Couples that work - what Gottman's research reveals about lasting relationships, why conflict style predicts divorce better than conflict frequency, and what genuinely sustains passion over time
Separation - why relationships end, what the science says about heartbreak, and why Valentine's Day statistically destroys more relationships than it saves
Dating apps - the real psychology of Tinder, what research says about lying in profiles, and what actually works when building an online presence
This is not a self-help book.
It won't tell you how to become more attractive or fix your relationship in ten steps. It will tell you why you do what you do - and why the person across from you does what they do - when desire is involved.
If you've ever been blindsided by attraction, stayed too long, left too soon, or simply wondered what's actually going on beneath the surface of human love - this book was written for you.
Backed by over 120 peer-reviewed studies. Written for humans, not academics.
About the Author
Philippe Dylewski is a clinical psychologist and the author of more than forty books translated into six languages - French, English, German, Italian, Spanish, and Dutch.
His work sits at the intersection of behavioral science, investigative psychology, and human decision-making. He has spent decades studying why people do what they do - in organizations, under pressure, and in relationships.
Ancient Instincts, Modern Hearts is his first major English-language work on the psychology of love and attraction.
