El cerebro en conflicto: La neurociencia de por qué las parejas se desconectan - y cómo el cerebro repara lo que el conflicto rompe
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Por qu� dices cosas que no quieres decir justo en las discusiones que m�s importan?
Sabes comunicarte. Has le�do sobre relaciones. Conoces las t�cnicas: escuchar con empat�a, usar frases en primera persona, no interrumpir. Y sin embargo, cuando la discusi�n sube de tono, tu cuerpo hace lo contrario de lo que tu mente sabe. La mand�bula se tensa, la voz se eleva, y las palabras que salen de tu boca no son las que ten�as preparadas. No es un problema de comunicaci�n. Es un problema de neurociencia.
La investigaci�n de John Gottman con 130 parejas demostr� que cuando la frecuencia card�aca supera las 100 pulsaciones por minuto, el c�rtex prefrontal se desactiva. La empat�a desaparece. La resoluci�n de problemas se apaga. Tu pareja - la persona m�s segura de tu vida - se convierte en una amenaza para tu sistema nervioso. Y nada de lo que digas desde ese estado va a mejorar la situaci�n. Se llama flooding, y la mayor�a de los conflictos de pareja transcurren completamente dentro de �l.
Este libro integra tres l�neas de investigaci�n que normalmente se presentan por separado - la predicci�n de divorcio de Gottman, la teor�a polivagal de Porges y el modelo de la ventana de tolerancia de Siegel - para explicar por qu� tu cerebro falla durante el conflicto y qu� puedes hacer con ese conocimiento.
Incluye:
Para cualquier persona que haya terminado una discusi�n sintiendo que otra persona tom� el control de sus emociones durante veinte minutos. No necesitas formaci�n en neurociencia. No necesitas que tu relaci�n est� en crisis. Solo necesitas entender qu� le pasa a tu cerebro cuando el conflicto se activa - y saber qu� hacer en los noventa segundos siguientes.
Las parejas que m�s duran no son las que menos pelean. Son las que m�s r�pido reparan.
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