The year is 2026, and I am 63 years old. And I have been fighting my Acute PTSD for 33 years and writing to do it for the same amount of time. The number of poems I have written are in the thousands and I probably can't tell you the title of ten of them, and sometimes that even sounds odd to me. However, after I have written a poem that really strikes a nerve, I can feel it resound in my body. My heart races, I feel hot, I tingle, and as I print the copy, I can only describe it as I assume a adopted child would feel, upon meeting his natural born parents. So, as you might guess, it doesn't happen that often.
I am telling you this because in this volume there are two poems that have met that criteria. My first idea was to tell you which two poems they were, but then, I changed my mind. I want to challenge you for these two reasons. the first being the recent war, yes war, that has broken out in Iran. I fear in the upcoming months our involvement will become increasingly difficult and questionable, although personally I believe we had no choice. And, if you didn't know, I was a sniper in Special Forces in Afghanistan, among other places, so my military service was in that theatre of operation. I feel if you read my work you will find a relationship to that time, as far as society and veteran interaction. At least, as far as my war based poetry this is what I feel to be the case.
The second is, I'm afraid, a little more morbid. I feel that soon I will die. I will not take my own life, I will not fail life that way. It's just that I have a lot of medical issues, pretty severe emotional issues connected to my PTSD, and I'm afraid that that interaction will, somehow, cause something to happen whereas my life will end. I'm not sad this will happen though, I am very tired with life and get tired of the chronic pain that I feel. Yes, it is that bad. However, my gut feelings have saved my life countless times before and are rarely wrong, and when they are this strong, unless God really wants to screw with me, I can bet money on it.
So, my challenge for you is to try to figure out which two poems are the two that I am referring to, by knowing my military service theatre, my age, and my imminent death. I can help you by reminding you that these poems are here to help you feel you are not alone in your fight against PTSD. And, that there are others out there like you that feel like you do and have possibly done or seen what you have. So, by going to groups, other contacts, you can meet them, and form a bond with them. form a brotherhood and a connection to help you. in short, there is help out there for you. So, read my work, read it slowly, read it carefully, and let it soak in. its there to help you, to embrace you like a mother hugs a child. you are loved my brother, and the world needs you to survive. it needs us all to survive. to tell our stories and to celebrate life, as life celebrates us. Now, go, and and tell me, which two poems make your heart race.
