Confesinea Unei Femei Schizofrenie Sentimentală
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Nu știu exact c�nd am �nceput să mă pierd.Poate �ntr-o noapte liniștită, �n timp ce spălam vasele și ascultam știrile pe fundal.Sau poate �n dimineața �n care m-am privit �n oglindă și mi-am dat seama că z�mbesc doar din obișnuință.Poate a fost mai devreme de at�t.Poate m-am pierdut �ncă din copilărie, c�nd am �nvățat că trebuie să fiu cuminte, să țin genunchii lipiți și privirea �n jos.Am fost soție.Femeie decentă.Mamă.Gospodină.Mereu atentă să nu fiu "prea mult". Prea doritoare.Prea vie.Prea sinceră.Dar �n mine, �ntotdeauna a existat o foame.Nu una de m�ncare, nu una de lucruri, ci o foame de atingere, de priviri care ard, de momente care fr�ng timpul �n două.O foame de a fi văzută, atinsă, dorită fără rușine.Mi-am trăit viața �mpărțită �ntre ce trebuie și ce simt.�ntre jurămintele rostite la altar și trupul care cerea mai mult dec�t ceea ce primea.Nu pentru că nu am fost iubită.Ci pentru că iubirea aceea nu știa să vorbească �n limba pielii mele.Aceasta nu este o poveste cu eroi sau eroine.Nu este o justificare, nici o dramă lacrimogenă.Este, pur și simplu, o confesiune.O femeie.O viață dublă.O sete.O căutare.Adevărul spus �n șoaptă, �n pat, �n oglindă, �n scrisori care nu au fost niciodată trimise.Poate te vei regăsi.Poate te vei revolta.Sau poate vei �nchide cartea și te vei �ntreba dacă tu ai curajul să spui adevărul.Eu �l spun acum.Fără mască.Fără milă.Aceasta este confesiunea mea.Și o scriu nu pentru că trebuie, ci pentru că n-a mai rămas nimic altceva de făcut.
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