A Diamond in the Rough: My Life Journey
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After witnessing the brutal, fatal stabbing of her mother and surviving being stabbed herself during the same attack at the age of nine, a young African-American woman's struggle to live continues. Diamond shares the mental, physical, and emotional effects she has suffered and the challenges she has faced, including alcohol abuse, emotional detachment, suicidal thoughts and panic attacks stemming from post-traumatic stress disorders. She reflects on a past filled with pain, abandonment, disappointment, violence, abuse, and molestation. In a time when she really didn't have control and all that she felt she could do was cry until there were no more tears. She became numb with anger and a dislike from her core toward GOD. Although still a work in progress, her one-on-one relationship with God has evolved tremendously over the years. Her struggle in her pursuit of peace, happiness and mental and emotional stability has led her on a path of positive routes such as focusing her attention on higher education and taking positions in the workforce that gave her purpose, but which she viewed as nothing more than outlets. Still unsettled emotions were ignored, avoided into her adult years until another traumatizing event took place that forced her to confront all that continued to haunt her. Facing her past head-on has gained her answers to the questions she has had all these years: Why was I born in this world to suffer? What is my purpose?All things came full circle in the realm when she was blessed with her daughter, Star her gift, pride and joy. Her outlook on life changed, giving it new meaning and direction. This is the story of a young African-American woman's struggle to survive through all adversities.
My name is Lakesha Nicole Baker. I am a 35-year-old African-American woman. I was born in the small town of Orangeburg, South Carolina, where I lived for nine years before a horrific tragedy led to my moving to New York City to be raised by my grandmother in the Bronx. I am the mother of a beautiful 12-year-old named Kayla Eunice Jones. Her existence has given me a greater sense of emotional and mental strength and stability. Indeed, a gift and a better extension of me, Kayla's existence has allowed me to revisit and vicariously live my childhood over through her. The good, bad and indifferent has shaped me into being a better person and mother to an amazing blessing sent by my Heavenly Father in my greatest time of need. Despite many trials, tribulations and uncertainties of life, through psychological toughness, I have survived, managing to obtain a bachelor's degree in computer management and now working toward a master's in psychology. I challenge myself to learn more about my diagnoses of post-traumatic stress syndrome, while remaining competitive, fully committing myself to every activity I've been involved in, which gives me great feelings of control and sanity. Control was something everyone else seemed to have had over me in my life for years. Hence, I truly take charge and full advantage of opportunities that come my way and make miracles happen. I have a strong determination to overcome this illness as I have the many other challenges in my life thus far. My ultimate goal in life is to be a better me and use my experiences, backed by my education, to provide mental and moral support to another. Whether near or far, readers will hopefully be motivated and inspired by the sharing of my story. I eventually hope to become a mentor and role model. This will give me great satisfaction, and my life more meaning.
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