Bulletin of ZOMBIE Research: Volume 1
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The BULLETIN OF ZOMBIE RESEARCH is a technical, scientific journal established in 2014 by the SOCIETY OF ZOMBIE RESEARCH AND MANAGEMENT to support responsible and effective control, management, and eradication of Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis (ZOMBI Encephalitis or ZOMBIE). The SOCIETY's mission is to support the advancement of ZOMBIE control, management, and eradication efforts with sound science. Since the first confirmed accounts of violence by persons testing positive for ZOMBI Encephalitis on disease-free humans, ZOMBIE Damage Prevention Programs operated under a variety of unsubstantiated assumptions. Research and management were guided by beliefs that ZOMBIEs maintained neither the identity nor the cognitive abilities of their disease-free human origins, but instead functioned in an animated, feeding-focused, solely instinct-based vegetated state. This vegetated state has been described to include losses in reasoning, comprehension of cause and effect, abilities to learn and predict, as well as the loss of language and communication skills. Observations of ZOMBIE group aggregation, reciprocal sound production, and changes in behavior following apparent eye contact, however, suggest coordination in behavior that may indicate unique, to-date undescribed interZOMBIE communication. Until now, ZOMBIE-associated hazards prevented research. Fortunately, new methods for conducting safe field and laboratory studies allow investigation into pressing ZOMBIE research and management needs. Institutions equipped and certified to responsibly house individuals positive for the disease are now able to manage limited populations for permitted research purposes.
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