Attention, women who wonder: A man can be, but doesn't have to be what some call "alcoholic" to wreak havoc in his partner's life and heart. Beth Copeland, licensed psychotherapist who has worked with "alcoholics" and their families for over 40 years, brings you facts and will likely answer most all of your questions about what is going on in your home. We call a guy who is drinking too much an "over-drinker." Beth gives you information, some of it not found anywhere else in the public sector--and that is because, when the whole truth about drinkers and drinking is made public, huge companies would lose a lot of income. Along with numerous facts about drinking, its effects on the drinker and what currently passes for "treatment," you will discover and understand the impact of his changing behavior on you, his partner. Copeland explains the effect of the "drug" alcohol on the body and the often ugly behavioral effects it creates as it gradually changes the drinker's brain. The National Institutes of Health research outcomes suggest that multiple millions of men are currently being trapped in the hell of their own making. Most women have responded to the drinker's bad behavior in much the same way, using pretty much the same tactics, relying on pretty much the same information and, almost universally, with the same results: Not much gets fixed, and of what does get fixed, not much stays fixed. What little research has been done and published widely indicates an overwhelming failure rate. All the while, many women are waiting for the big change to come sometime in the future. They wait, get worn out, often beaten down mentally, get old too fast. The information in this book can change all of that. With over 40 years as a therapist, she came to that field through her recovery, some 45 years ago, from her own drinking problem. That experience gives her a deeper insight into the problem and personalities than therapists without that background. She also will share her own experiences with her own romantic involvements with an unspecified number of over-drinkers. Not all at once, usually just one at a time. Almost every experience with your drinker she has shared. And she has gathered the specific therapies that have successfully restored scores of hurting women to their former selves. Beth fills her book with specialized knowledge, experience, stories, --events from her experiences, and gives dozens of simple "tricks" proved over years to be effective You also get checklists aimed at opening parts of you commonly affected by an over-drinker, and education and therapies to turn unwanted changes. Included is an extended list of signs of drinking problems that will allow a lay person to diagnose. Copeland encourages women to overlook those who would make her feel like she doesn't love him enough, or doesn't do things "right." Beth says it's high time that, instead of being so loving and accepting of bad behavior, it's okay for drinkers's women to get mad! No matter how nice and accepting you are, it will not straighten him out! In fact, all research shows that the more horrible you can make things for him, the more likely he'll decide he needs to change. Especially, a drinker's woman must get off her own back, keeping in mind that it's HIS behavior that needs fixing, and learning why SHE can't fix it! Even so, many use some of the tricks here to continue to live with the drinker if she to do that. If not, there is information about leaving that each of them must know. Readers report enjoying Copeland's warmth and easy-going approach, and her sense of humor, some reporting that the book is both helpful and an enjoyable read!
Beth Copeland, licensed psychotherapist, has worked with both drinkers and their families for over 40 years. Contrary to the former stereotype of the drinker's woman as being "sick," she came to see that these women, thought to be weak or are some of the strongest and most precious people on earth. In retirement, she has written this first book, the beginning. A survivor of over-drinking herself in eternal recovery, and of having been an over-drinker's woman a (private) number of times, as well as experiencing severe domestic violence in some of these liaisons. She has remained clean and sober for over 44 years at this writing and not only remembers the thinking and tactics over-drinkers use--not only having used them herself, but also from hearing the stories of thousands of recovering (and not recovering) over-drinkers. Beth lives in North Florida with a gaggle of children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She loves to write, spend time with her friends, garden, play with her dogs, music (mostly classical). She travels frequently to speaking engagements, to conduct workshops, and for consultation. You can contact Beth through her website, www.hedrinkstoomuch.com, which also contains her blog where many women discover they are not alone, and through her publisher, Applied Psychology Publishing, LLC. She especially enjoys hearing from readers: questions, suggestions, requests, and complaints!
