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How I Lost Myself by Mary Ganann

How I Lost Myself

by Mary Ganann
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Book cover type: Paperback
  • ISBN13: 9798233684180
  • Binding: Paperback
  • Subject: N/A
  • Publisher: Mary Ganann
  • Publisher Imprint: Mary Ganann
  • Publication Date:
  • Pages: 68
  • Original Price: USD 7.99
  • Language: English
  • Edition: N/A
  • Item Weight: 91 grams
  • BISAC Subject(s): Memoirs

I was a girl from the Mississippi pines who loved the pond and the smell of cedar. My descent began in 2009 when I used Adderall to chase intensity and fill the silence left after my friends went to college. I entered a relationship that felt like clarity but was actually total control.

I lost my autonomy, eventually bowing to a man who dictated my every move and thought. To survive, I developed a detached, calculated mindset I named "Lucifer". This internal voice became my co-pilot, numbing my emotions until I could sit in a room and feel nothing.

My choices led me to prison, but even the locked doors didn't immediately wake me up; I simply planned to be "smarter" about my mindset. The true breaking point came when I realized my daughter was absorbing my fear and learning to be small to keep the peace. For her sake, I left and moved back to my mother's house.

I am now reclaiming the "girl from the pond," drawing on the legacy of my best friend Kayla and my Papaw's unconditional strength. I am not what happened to me; I am the person who chose to find her way back.

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