How to Avoid the Divorce From Hell**and dance together at your daughter's weddingMost people start their divorce with the hope that it will be amicable, or at least not a war zone. Many of them are then presented with an unexpected circumstance and find themselves in the middle of Armageddon with no idea how they got there. This book is designed to raise the red flags to alert them when they may be heading down a path inconsistent with their goal of divorcing with dignity, and to provide them with the tools they need to stay in control of the process and keep on track.People have more control over the course of their divorce than they realize, but they have to know what to watch out for and how to make good choices. How to Avoid the Divorce From Hell, now in its third edition, has helped thousands of people come out of their divorces whole and healthy rather than financially and emotionally battle-scarred, and do the same for their kids. Since divorce laws vary from state to state, it is about the divorce process, not the law itself. "Process" means that the same kinds of issues come up around kids, support and maintenance, and property division in divorces from New Hampshire to Arizona and Michigan to South Carolina. The purpose of the book is to alert readers to the kinds of questions they should be asking and consequences they should be thinking about so they can make the best choices under the circumstances, whatever the law in their specific state. Since legal terminology also varies from state to state, it includes a glossary explaining relevant legal terms. Readers will learn how to marshal and make the most of their resources, who to turn to for advice (and who to avoid like the plague), how to support themselves and their kids through the process, and how to keep focused on the end goal while navigating the sometimes treacherous rapids of the legal process. There are countless choices to be made in any divorce, some of which lead to healthy outcomes and others which lead to catastrophic unintended consequences. In the heat of the moment it is sometimes hard to tell which is which. With How to Avoid the Divorce From Hell as a guide, readers will learn how to identify flash points in the moment and make good and informed choices on the fly. They will learn when it is important to draw a line in the sand and when it is best to step back, regroup, and get some perspective. Practical advice touches on how to interact with courts, lawyers and soon-to-be-exes, why it is important to keep the kids' interests in focus and insulate them from conflict (and how to do it), how to evaluate a settlement offer and how to make good decisions about property division, child support and alimony. How to Avoid the Divorce From Hell is filled with real-life examples of strategies which have been proven to work, as well as real-life examples of strategies which are guaranteed to yield catastrophic results, sometimes for years to come. Readers who want to know how to conduct scorched earth and collect a pound of flesh won't find it here. This book was written for the vast majority of people who simply want to get through their divorces with as much of their dignity and estates intact as possible. Originally published in 1996, and now in its third edition, How to Avoid the Divorce From Hell has been completely revised and updated to alert readers to benefits and pitfalls of social media and other forms of technology in divorce. The tone of the book is breezy and humorous. It has been designed in such a way that it can be read cover to cover, or readers can simply turn to the topics which are relevant and of interest to them without sacrificing content or readability. Readers are encouraged to check out the table of contents. Not only will they see the types of issues covered, but they will also get a good sense of the flavor and tone of the book.
M. Sue Talia is a certified family law specialist and private judge in Danville, California with nearly forty years of experience in complex family law litigation. Since 1997, she has limited her practice to private judging in family law matters. Through her many years of divorce experience, she has seen what works, what helps couples settle their disagreements, and what tactics inevitably lead to scorched earth, scarring both the litigants and their children, sometimes for life. She is convinced that litigation is a last resort, never the first choice, and that given proper guidance, two reasonable people can and should be able resolve their differences out of court without compromising their dignity or their estates. Her premise is that a negotiated resolution which everyone can live with, even if they didn't get everything they would have liked, is always better than a solution imposed by a stranger in a black robe, however knowledgeable, well intentioned and intelligent that stranger may be. She also recognizes that some cases need to be tried (usually because one side is being unreasonable) and shares with readers her vast experience of how to make the most of courts and the legal resources available to them.
