In Tandem is an amusing, insightful, and nuanced how-to memoir about creating a durable relationship out of two dented and scratched adults, and then balancing that relationship on a bicycle built for two, popularly called a divorce machine.
"...a wonderful, enlightening read that correlates tandem cycling to relationships and more. Not just a must-read for cyclists, everyone will benefit from this introspective view of our interaction with our significant others, ourselves, and some of the best strategies to create a successful team of two." Andy Applegate, Senior Cycling Coach
The couple courageously share intimate details of their triumphs and tangles. They negotiate their histories of divorces and a spouse's death, while learning to actually welcome sometimes-irritating personal differences and often opposing cultural sensibilities. When initial life settles a bit into normal, the couple move their negotiations onto a bicycle built for two with all its demands for cooperation, coordination, and communication. Flat tires and malfunctions await them.
It's full of quirky humor. Even death and divorce are treated with an agile lightness wrapped in compassion and caring.
The story celebrates both individuality and the delight of an enduring partnership. And it acknowledges the importance of the art of assuming both personal and shared responsibility, of avoiding finger pointing and defensiveness.
In Tandem
flows between easy-to-follow explanations of tandem bike mechanics and relationship strategies, akin to Boys in the Boat or Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
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One could read this for sage advice on creating and healing a vibrant forgiving couple. Or one could read it to get a primer on tandem riding or building any powerful, resilient team.
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"I thoroughly enjoyed this delightful, moving, and funny tale of a resilient, dynamic duo...so tenderly and delicately handcrafted." Louise Baribeau, Retired Mental Health Professional, Newburyport, MA
Birke, Szifra: - "Szifra Birke is a personal and professional connector, whether bringing people together to aid new Americans or to volunteer at a new nonprofit. But she has never been satisfied with knowing people casually. Her career choices include Psychotherapist and Executive Leadership Coach. She is the author of Together We Heal about group therapy. An avid exerciser, Szifra spent 35 years off bikes before a tandem bike seduced her back on. Once she was pedaling, the habit stuck. Besides her love of an active lifestyle, she came to the new relationship with two adolescent sons, a stepdaughter, and a love of marketing and public relations. Offered the captaincy of the tandem, she demurred with a "Not on my life!" Her freedom from watching "every little thing in the road" allows her to enthusiastically acknowledge all drivers, walkers, and porch sitters. She also strives to keep the conversation interesting and rolling along.Influenced by her parents' Holocaust experience and inspired by their tenacity, Szifra has been personally and professionally involved with Holocaust survivors and their families since 1973 while a graduate student at Purdue. Szifra co-produced a documentary about her outrageous dad, her beloved mom, and their quirky store. It can be viewed at: BrowsingThroughBirkes.com. For the past twenty years, she has mentored and assisted immigrants and refugees, primarily from Southeast Asia and Africa. She tells the story of her name on WGBH as a fundraiser for immigrants -- https: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=APBnzy-cC0w She loves yoga, pickleball and walking with friends and her pup Kobi. Her life is far richer because it includes her four granddaughters Rachel, Samantha, Paige and Adeline, and her six grandnieces and grandnephews - Sierra, Charlie, Theo, Kaiah, Max and Taizen."
Livingston, Jay: - Jay has learned to live his life more fully through many iterations of careers, sports, and interpersonal relationships. He taught writing and has been writing professionally for over forty years. Subjects have roamed from technical writing to managerial self-help books. He has ghost-written for professional publications, niche magazines, and blogs. Jay has a master's in counseling psychology, which was more useful than an English degree, but less helpful than all the lessons he learned from his loyal dogs, sailing, and bikes.It's possible to get a sense of how he may have spread himself a bit thin by hearing that he was a master mechanic, a prize-winning wooden boat restorer, the head of a hospital's emergency response team, a certified EMT, a sailboat delivery captain, an acclaimed dog behaviorist, and an executive coach to nationally recognized sports, business, and performance professionals. Along with ten or more lesser jobs. All of which, have informed his coaching and writing practices. In his sports life Jay backpacks, successfully races small sailboats, and chases fitness on both a tandem and a single bike. The sport of bicycling offers him opportunities to pursue marginal gains in both his fitness and riding technique.He's particularly interested in how to motivate practice and change. His previous book is Simple Steps to Change Your Business, Your Life. His soon-to-be-published books include How to Improve Your Racing Performance in Small Sailboats, and Simple Steps to Stop Procrastinating and Start Riding: Improve Your Motivation, Habits, Persistence, Endurance and Mental Game..Part of his life vision is to continually balance his personal, interpersonal, and professional life.
