Lousy Golf: Opinions and Tall Tales
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There are many instructional books about golf. There are many inspirational books about golf. I have not added to this mess. I have tried to address the vast majority of golfers, the mediocre players that continue to play lousy golf despite all the efforts to instruct and inspire them. There is no attempt to add new techniques or thoughts that will elevate the lousy golfer to the sparse ranks of the accomplished golfer. There is an effort to make golf a little more fun and the nineteenth hole a more significant part of the game. I couldn't pass up poking a little fun at a lot of others as well. I know little about playing accomplished golf. Few do. I do know how to play lousy golf. Professional golf is a sport and it's played by talented athletes just like any other sport. Other professional sports depend on paying spectators, many of which have never even played the game. Golf may have spectators, but mostly it's got a bunch of hackers buying expensive equipment and paying green fees to maintain the courses for those few that actually know how to play golf. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It's just the nature of the game. It's been that way for hundreds of years and I expect it will go on for hundreds more. Through some warped sense of logic I've come to believe it takes a lousy golfer to inspire pathetic golfers. Good golfers know little about playing lousy golf. Most folks just don't know what to do with the advice they give. Golf's frustrating enough as it is. Golfers are constantly bombarded by game improvement gizmos and instructional material to improve their game. The goal is to reach your potential. I don't think there has ever been a golfer that thought they had reached their potential. It's a disease. The cure would be constant improvement. Maybe it's time to work on the symptoms; those sinking feelings after your usual lousy score, or the trauma of returning to normal after one of those rare exceptional rounds. Golf's a good game, really. Learn to enjoy it. Golf life can be good for the lousy golfer. You get to remember the feel and sight of a well struck ball. The accomplished golfer only gets to remember those that aren't stuck well. You can celebrate at the nineteenth hole remembering the few highlights of your golf round. The good golfers just get to cry in their beer over the few lost strokes that shouldn't have been. Best of all, the lousy golfer gets to win just as many matches as the good golfer. Golf has handicaps. It's a strange thing. You can win on the score card while getting your clock cleaned on the course. I guess that's just the concession the good folks had to make so they'd have somewhere to play. It's no wonder they stick to themselves.
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