Nie tafel, hond of potlood nie: stukke oor identiteit, die self, en die resultaat van alles
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"Stel jouself die volgende situasie voor: Piet X van Bronkhorstspruit ontmoet vir Jan Z by 'n braai. Jan Z stel homself voor as 'Jan Z van Pretoria' en steek sy hand uit. Piet X glimlag vriendelik, steek ook sy hand uit, en stel homself voor as 'Jan Z van Pretoria'." "In 2000 is ek weer gekonfronteer, dié keer in Taiwan, met mense aan wie ek myself moes identifiseer, nadat ek weereens 'n jaar in obskure anonimiteit gefunksioneer het - waar net die mees basiese data oor myself goed genoeg was." "In sommige gevalle is wie en wat ons veronderstel is om te wees, met hier en daar 'n verfspatsel om onsself tot 'n mate uniek te maak, goed genoeg, en hierdie identiteit word dan aangebied as antwoord op wie ons is." "Ons word gebore, raak bewus van die feit dat ons iets is tussen ander ietse en iemand tussen ander iemande, en dat daar van ons verwag word om te funksioneer as die iets wat ons is (moenie optree asof jy 'n tafel of 'n troeteldier is nie) en ook om te funksioneer as iemand." "Sommige mense eindig op as karikature van die data wat hulle uit die omgewing kry oor wat hulle moet wees en hoe hulle moet optree. Hierdie legkaart karikature is oënskynlik onbewus van hoe duidelik die nate wys tussen die soms geykte onderdele waaruit hulle sosiaal funksionerende persona's saamgestel is." "Feit is dat mense soms dekades opbrand in 'n poging om uit te sorteer wat hulle veronderstel is om te doen. Hulle spandeer jare opsoek na 'regte' antwoorde, hulle 'werklike' self, hulle 'regte' plek, waar hulle 'regtig' behoort ... sonder om te besef hulle het basies twee keuses: aanvaar hoofsaaklik jou gegewe self en funksioneer as sulks, binne die partikulêre raamwerk van gegewe tyd en plek, of kies wie en wat jy wil wees, en wáár." "Identiteit wat herken en tot 'n mate goedgekeur word deur die gemeenskap word dus hoofsaaklik benodig vir VERSKYNING. In ag genome hierdie verbintenis tussen identiteit en verskyning op bepaalde tydstip en plek, wat sou die waarde daarvan wees om nie te verskyn nie?" "Dit behoort selfvertroue op te wek om te wéét mens kán van omgewing verander, en steeds dieselfde bly ... steeds "ek" wees ... steeds dieselfde identiteit behou ... voortgaan om te funksioneer as iemand wat in wese verwant is aan die 'ek' van gister, en tien jaar gelede, op 'n halfdosyn plekke op twee kontinente." "As 'n primêre doel van die BRON is om mense in staat te stel om 'n goeie idee te ontwikkel van wie en wat hulle is en funksionering moontlik te maak, wat is die primêre doel van die mens se bestaan? Om identiteit te bewerkstellig en suksesvol te funksioneer? Wat is 'suksesvolle funksionering'? Oorlewing? Ek glo nie." "Wanneer jy nie verskyn nie, hoef jy nie verleë te voel, of jouself te verduidelik, of verskoning te maak vir aspekte van jou lewe of die toestand van jou woonruimte nie." "Hierdie is maar enkele vrae waarvoor jy 'n uur of wat kan afknyp as dit net jy is - as jy jouself bevind in 'n plek waar jy niemand ken nie, waar bekende stemme vir die oomblik nie jou eie weergalm, of stil praat, of ondersteun nie." "As jy nie weet wat jy met jou lewe wil doen nie, wat doen jy met jou lewe? Hoe funksioneer jy? Hoekom leef jy soos jy leef, waar jy leef, en met wie jy leef? Hoekom doen jy die werk wat jy doen? Hoekom dra jy die spesifieke klere wat jy dra?" "Wat sal 'n mens vind as jy die wildernis betree vir 'n onbepaalde tyd, sonder die gerief van 'n tandarts of 'n dokter, of die luuksheid van lopende water en 'n spoeltoilet en toiletpapier, of die vermaak wat 'n TV, of die internet, of koerante en boeke, of vriende, of filmteaters mens gee. Inderdaad, wat vind 'n mens sonder liefde - as jy 'n vae idee het hoe om te soek wat jy nie noodwendig kan verwoord nie?"
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