Vegan Zombie Apocalypse
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VEGAN ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE:
In the post-apocalypse worlderness, zombies rule the earth. They're allergic to meat, and brains literally make them explode.
Zombies now eat blood potatoes, parasitic tubers grown in the flesh of humancows corralled in maximum security farms.
The necros, barbaric human nomads travelling the worlderness in floating villages, worship the zombies. The necros both eat the zombies, and wear clothes made from them; they live in houses built of bricks of undead flesh.They also keep zombies as sex slaves.
Two fugitives meet in the ancient ruins of Texas. The first is Soil 15-f, a womancow who's escaped her farm a week before she's due to be killed and her blood potato crop harvested. The second fugitive is Able Kane, former head necros food technician, now sentenced to death for heresy.
But Soil is no ordinary humancow. Unknown to herself, she's the vegan zombie agricultural revolution, and the zombies desperately want her back.And the necros equally desperately want Able Kane dead. He's fled with a forbidden discovery which will reshape the world for the worse if used.And Able is just hardheaded/misguided enough to use it.
With android zombinators and the head necros assassin (Able's ex-girlfriend Morphia) after them, Soil and Able Kane have no choice but to climb the lemon tree to Haeven, residence of the zombie god Necro. And by anyone's reckoning, Soil and Able Kane are the two people in the worlderness who should never have been let into Heaven.
Back cover description:
Fear not mankind, the omniscient God Necro proclaims that your tasty brains will be safe from the ravenous undead during the impending zombie apocalypse. Unfortunately for most of you, however, the enlightened zombie hoard plans to herd you like cattle on their potato plantations and use your fertile bodies to grow their specialized blood veggies.
Only by prostrating yourself before the Great Necro can you join forces with other faithful necros and defend humanity from the ever encroaching zombie invasion. But it won't be easy, especially if you've just escaped from the vegfarm - and you already have the cattle brand on your forehead and the telltale potato vines sprouting from your body.
Bounty-hunting zombinators, flying cleaver-laden helicopters and cockrockets, will soon be hot on your trail as you race toward the Promised Land and the sanctuary that is known as the Republic of Texas.
Not only is "Vegan Zombie Apocalypse" one of the most bizarre stories ever conceived, but its universal appeal should extend far beyond its bizarro fan base. Enthusiasts of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror, and especially zombie fiction lovers, should relish this book, even though it ventures into the dark realm of the extraordinarily grotesque at times... many times actually.
Wol-vriey is Nigerian, and quite tall. He currently resides in a state of uneasy stalemate with his threatening-to-thin-beyond-redemption hair, and believes there actually are things that go bump in the night. Wol-vriey recycles the ridiculous into reasonable reality for the reader. His WEIRRRD philosophy? WEIRRRD = Warp/Write Everything into Realistic Ridiculous Readable Distorted Dream Dimension Descriptions. Wol-vriey is the author of "The Bizarro Story of I," "Alice's Adventures in Steamland: The Clockwork Goddess," and "Chainsaw Cop Corpse." His short story "Forever Ago Sunshine" appears in "The Big Book of Bizarro" and his novella "Big Trouble In Little Ass" appears in "Westward Hoes."
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