In her personal inimitable style, the author invites the readers to adopt an attitude that is consistent with the grace of God, who hates the sin of divorce, but loves the divorced. Esly shares from her own experience of divorce and remarriage, the challenges, difficulties and issues that need to be overcome in order to become a more whole human being.Read a chapter from the book: Her Lamp Does Not Go Out at Night "Mommy! Mommy! I'm scared! I dreamt there was a snake and it was going to get me. Now I can't sleep anymore! I can still see it whenever I shut my eyes..." Raquel crawled into my bed, and stuck her trembling little self under my covers. I hugged the young child and spoke to her softly, sighing on the inside over one more sleep interruption. But that's how children are... sleeping through the night was a luxury for youth, not for moms. "Mommy, I want to pray. That way I can quit trembling." I prayed with Raquel, asking the Lord to take away her fear and that He would give her tranquil sleep. I had barely said amen, when she launched out into her own prayer, so pure, so simple. When she finished, she turned and said to me: "I can still remember the snake, and I can go back to sleep without being afraid. Please stay close to me until I fall asleep again." As I held on to her hand, she turned and fell asleep in my arms in a matter of moments. I was amazed at her simplicity and how quickly she resolved her crisis. But, after all, this was what I had taught her, that the Lord was the "father of our household" and that we depended on Him for the solution of our problems. As I reflected on it, this had been one of the greatest gains of my separation: being able to raise my daughter in the ways of the Lord. We were a family: God was the Husband, the Father, and we would lean on Him whenever we had our troubles. It was under His wings that we sought refuge and shade. While my daughter was sleeping in my arms, I laid there for a long time thinking things over. I came to the conclusion that whoever invented the double bed never had a clue how much he had helped mothers. In a few minutes, I would take Raquel back to her bed, where she always slept. But it was so comfortable to have a bed where both of us fit, with our dreams and our prayers. Sometimes, I would fall asleep before I took her back to her bed. In the morning she would look at me with that mischievous little face, and a twinkle in her eye, and say: "I slept here all night, didn't I?" "Yes, you did, but this isn't your bed." "I know, but I was so scared that I came here..!" "Yeah, but don't get used to it," feigning anger.I well knew that the scene would repeat itself. But the important thing was that my daughter knew where to find me when she needed me.The important thing was that my lamp did not go out at night.
Esly Regina Carvalho, Ph.D. is a Brazilian-American clinical psychologist and author, as well as a presenter in great demand internationally. Having been raised in the US, she also lived in Ecuador and Bolivia, besides her native Brazil, which has led her to be perfectly fluent in English, Portuguese and Spanish. Esly has been committed to integrating different fields in a way that is helpful to both laypeople as well as professionals in a hands-on kind of way. In the field of Psychodrama, she has written a Manual in Spanish, published a compendium of professionals articles on Sociodrama and Sociometry, and more recently, integrated EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) with Role Therapy, resulting in her book, Healing the Folks Who Live Inside, available in paperback and kindle, in all three languages. Her Bibliodrama Manual integrates techniques from Psychodrama with Bible stories. Integrating Psychotherapy with principles of Biblical counseling led her to write several books in Spanish and Portuguese on topics such as divorce and remarriage (Single Again, When the Bond Breaks, available in Spanish and Portuguese, Cuando se rompe el vínculo), emotional healing (Alas de sanidad), leadership (Cuidemos nuestros líderes in Spanish and Portuguese)and marriage (Hacer el amor en todo lo que se hace). Also available are books integrating emotional growth and Biblical principles (Caderno de Oração, Compañeros de yugo, Jogos Dramáticos para Cristãos), available in Spanish and Portuguese. Originally trained in Psychodrama and Group Psychotherapy in Brazil, Esly passed her exams with the American Board of Examiners in Psychodrama and Sociometry, with distinction, and is a Fellow of the American Society of Group Psychotherapy and Psychodrama (ASGPP). Having begun her EMDR training in 1996, she is presently a Trainer of Trainers (EMDR Institute) and Past-President of EMDR Ibero-America (EMDR IBA, 2007-2010;2010-2013). She maintains a private practice (TraumaClinic) in Brasilia, Brazil, and has been directly responsible for the training of over fifteen hundred EMDR therapists in Brazil alone.
